Every Moment is a Choice:

Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy’s Choice Point to Create a More Meaningful Life

Life can often feel like it's happening to us. We wake up already thinking about

our to-do list, react to stressful emails, rush from one responsibility to the next,

and before we know it, the day is over. Many of our responses happen on

autopilot, especially when we're feeling overwhelmed, anxious or emotionally

drained.

But what if every challenging moment contained an opportunity to choose a

different path?

This is the idea behind The Choice Point, a practical and accessible tool

developed by Dr. Russ Harris and colleagues as part of the Acceptance and

Commitment Therapy (ACT) model. Rather than trying to eliminate

uncomfortable thoughts and emotions, the Choice Point helps us notice them,

make space for them, and choose actions that move us towards the life we

want to live.

What is the Choice Point?

Imagine you're standing at a fork in the road.

One path takes you towards the person you want to be and the life you want

to create. The other takes you away from what truly matters.

Throughout every day we encounter countless "choice points"—moments

where we can either react automatically or respond intentionally.

The Choice Point isn't about making perfect decisions or always feeling

positive. Instead, it asks one simple question:

"Is what I'm about to do moving me towards the life I want, or away from

it?"

Towards Moves and Away Moves

When we're experiencing difficult thoughts, emotions or physical sensations,

we naturally want to escape them. We might avoid difficult conversations,

procrastinate, scroll endlessly on our phones, overeat, criticise ourselves or

withdraw from others.

These are what Harris calls Away Moves. They often provide temporary relief,

but over time they can take us further away from the relationships, health,

career or personal growth that matter most.

Towards Moves, on the other hand, are actions that are guided by our values.

They aren't necessarily easy or comfortable, but they help us become the kind

of person we want to be.

For example:

Situation: Your partner says something that upsets you.

Away Move:

• Storm out.

• Give the silent treatment.

• Replay the argument in your head all day.

Towards Move:

• Notice your anger.

• Take a few slow breaths.

• Calmly explain how you're feeling.

• Listen with curiosity.

  
  

The emotion may still be present, but your behaviour is now aligned with your

values of kindness, honesty or connection.

Difficult Thoughts Don't Have to Be in Charge

One of the most powerful aspects of the Choice Point is recognising that we

don't need to wait until we feel confident, motivated or calm before taking

meaningful action.

Our minds are excellent storytellers.

They might say:

• "I'm not good enough."

• "I'll probably fail."

• "This is too hard."

• "I'll do it tomorrow."

ACT teaches us that these thoughts are perfectly normal. The goal isn't to get

rid of them, but to notice them without letting them dictate our behaviour.

Psychological flexibility—the ability to stay present and act according to our

values even when uncomfortable thoughts and emotions arise—is a central

aim of ACT.

Discovering Your Helpers

The Choice Point also reminds us that we don't have to face life's challenges

empty-handed.

Harris refers to our Helpers—the internal and external resources that support

us in making Towards Moves.

These might include:

• Your personal values.

• Your strengths.

• Mindfulness skills.

• Self-compassion.

• Supportive family and friends.

• Problem-solving skills.

• Previous experiences where you've overcome challenges.

  
  

When we remember these resources, difficult situations often become a little

more manageable.

A Simple Daily Practice

The beauty of the Choice Point is that it can be used anywhere.

The next time you notice yourself feeling stressed, anxious or frustrated, pause

and ask yourself:

1. What's happening right now?

2. What thoughts and feelings are showing up?

3. Am I about to make an Away Move or a Towards Move?

4. What small action could move me towards the person I want to be?

Notice the emphasis on small.

You don't need to transform your life overnight. Sometimes a Towards Move is

simply taking one deep breath before replying to an email, going for a ten-

minute walk instead of staying stuck in rumination, or offering yourself the

same kindness you would offer a friend.

Small choices, repeated consistently, create meaningful change.

Progress, Not Perfection

It's important to remember that everyone makes Away Moves. They are part of

being human.

The goal isn't perfection. It's awareness.

Every time we notice we've drifted away from our values, we have another

Choice Point waiting for us. Another opportunity to gently redirect ourselves

towards the life we want to build.

As Dr. Russ Harris often reminds us, living a rich and meaningful life isn't

about feeling good all the time. It's about making room for the full range of

human emotions while continuing to do what matters most.

And perhaps that's the greatest gift of the Choice Point.

No matter what has happened five minutes ago—or five years ago—the next

choice is always available.

Every moment offers a new beginning.

If you would like to delve further into The Choice Point and other ACT

strategies, take a look at Dr Russ Harris’ Book – The Happiness Trap.